On the latest episode of Lessons In Leadership, Dave Anderson, founder of LearnToLead, dissects the concept that leaders who share too much of their personal lives at work risk undermining their credibility and distracting their teams.
To start, Anderson cautions that oversharing personal anecdotes, like drama, health issues, or private struggles, does not in fact equate to leaders being more “relatable.” Instead, he asserts it can weaken their professional image and send the wrong message about workplace priorities.
“When we do this, it doesn’t make us real. It doesn’t make us relatable. It makes us look weak,” Anderson said.
To address how leaders can restore their credibility, he outlines two distinct methods to refrain from:
- Distraction from work: Discussing personal matters can pull employees’ attention away from their responsibilities, forcing them to engage with the drama and trauma leaders bring into the workplace.
- Undermining authority: Oversharing signals that “it’s okay not to work at work.” This not only detracts from business performance but also diminishes the authority leaders need to guide their teams effectively.
Instead of leaning on personal oversharing, Anderson recommended that leaders build authenticity by discussing mistakes they’ve made in their careers. By explaining what they learned from those missteps, leaders can show vulnerability without damaging professionalism.
Beyond distractions, oversharing can carry long-term career risks. Additionally, Anderson points out that many colleagues who hear these personal details may also be competitors for promotions and opportunities. Sensitive information shared in confidence could later be used against the person who revealed it.
“Keep it professional, keep a professional distance, and build the relationships the right way.”
While Anderson acknowledges the value of workplace friendships, he emphasizes that leaders must build those relationships on mutual respect and professionalism, rather than allowing personal drama to interfere.
Keeping conversations centered on performance and growth helps maintain focus on organizational success.
