Overcoming a customer’s objection starts with understanding what is driving it. Kyle Vowinkel, Former FBI Crisis Negotiator and Author of Shaping Chaos, joins CBT Live to discuss how asking better questions, listening to understand and finding genuine common ground can help automotive salespeople reduce resistance and build relationships that extend beyond a single transaction.
Vowinkel encouraged dealership salespeople to practice what he calls “focused curiosity” by learning about customers before attempting to overcome their objections. Rather than assuming a buyer’s hesitation is about price, salespeople should ask questions and listen carefully to determine whether the concern involves the monthly payment, total purchase price or trade-in value. Vowinkel said people often listen to reply rather than understand, which can keep them from identifying the real source of resistance. He also emphasized the importance of genuine rapport, explaining that even a small point of common ground can help build trust.
Emotional regulation is another skill Vowinkel said leaders and salespeople can develop through preparation and repetition. Drawing on his experience negotiating during the Boston Marathon bombing manhunt, he explained how controlled breathing and recalling previous training helped him manage pressure before approaching the suspect. The same principles, he said, can apply when a salesperson is struggling to meet a monthly target or a manager must handle a difficult conversation. Vowinkel advised professionals to recognize when emotions are affecting their judgment and use simple techniques to regain focus.
Vowinkel also urged dealership leaders to make difficult decisions before a crisis develops and communicate those decisions clearly to their teams. For example, managers can establish specific sales targets and determine in advance what actions to take if performance falls short of expectations. Setting those triggers ahead of time reduces the need to make consequential decisions in the heat of the moment and gives employees a clearer understanding of the plan. He also recommended positive framing, such as communicating the desired action constructively rather than relying on negative reminders. Together, advance planning, clear expectations and positive communication can help dealerships respond more consistently to changing conditions while building confidence and accountability across the organization.
